Friday, February 09, 2007

Living Life Backwards


I want to live my next life backwards.

You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an

old age home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for

being too healthy.



Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start

work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until

you're too young to work.



You get ready for High School, drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.



Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you

have no responsibilities.



Then you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in

spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and

then..........



You finish off as an orgasm.



I rest my case………………………!

- dat was VEST



A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.He immediately turns to her and makes his move."You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if youstrike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."


The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?""Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?""OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But letme ask you a question first.


A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat thesame stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cowturns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop.Why do you suppose that is?"


The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightestidea""So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified todiscuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"


-dat was some more shit from VEST

the pic u see here is of spoiled brats

KIDS all of dem










6 comments:

Dave said...

Vest is quite a comedian.

Awaiting said...

!سلام وعلیکم/شب بخیر

awaiting said...

saby, you officially bore me.

nnow, chew on your own testicles, as I have no use for your smelly penis.

awaiting said...

But don't me and my babes look cute!!!!

Cheesemeister said...

Lord, I need to take lessons from this woman on how to come up with a proper insult!
My insults are so lame. They usually go something like this:
"you...ASSHOLE!"
I really need to get some better material.

Homo Escapeons said...

Where do I start.
Your testimony regarding the deaths of your father and mother at Viva were brilliant. Few things in Life procure a bond like sharing heartfelt messages about losing a loved one and in your case two amazing people.
Then I come here and discover 'sassy' awaiting giving you an upside the head..and it is a reminder of how small and weird this world really is.
Ironically I think that humans do regress to childlike states of awareness as their cognitive abilities begin to shut down. We enter and leave in a state of bewilderment..most of us anyway..my genetics seem to be destined to deny me the opportunity to fully enjoy my second childhood so I am doing it now...I'd hate to miss it!