One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma "
And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said
- That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.",
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;Love to forgive him;And Patience for his moods.Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,I'll beat him to death.",
AMEN
Marriage and SEX QUOTES
http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/quotes/sex2.htm
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9 comments:
awww saby... thanx :p... u know men too well :D
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
- Minnie Mouse
(angry)
shut up minnie mouse...u useless mouse
m000000000nieeeeeeeeeeeeee I lurveeee YOU
Muuuah
Kissy faced mouse
a tribute and lots of love to tha lubsedings:)
eno hooo
Dear All,
Check this out, very interesting findings of Dr. Tariq Al Swaidan might grasp your attention:
Dr.Tarig Al Swaidan discovered some verses in the Holy Qur'an that mention one thing is equal to another, i.e. men are equal to women.
Although this makes sense grammatically, the astonishing fact is that the number of times the word man appears in the Qur'an is 24 and number of times the word woman appears is also 24, therefore not only is this phrase correct in the grammatical sense but also true mathematically, i.e. 24 = 24.
Upon further analysis of various verses, he discovered that this is
consistent throughout the whole Qur'an, where it says one thing is like another. See below for astonishing result of the words mentioned number of times in Arabic Qur'an:
Dunia (one name for life) 115. Aakhirat (one name for the life after this
world) 115
Malaika (Angels) 88 . Shayteen (Satan) 88
Life 145 .... Death 145
Benefit 50 . Corrupt 50
People 50 .. Messengers 50
Eblees (king of devils) 11 . Seek refuge from Eblees 11
Museebah (calamity) 75 . Thanks 75
Spending (Sadaqah) 73 . Satisfaction 73
People who are mislead 17 . Dead people 17
Muslimeen 41 . Jihad 41
Gold 8 . Easy life 8
Magic 60 . Fitnah (dissuasion, misleading) 60
Zakat (Taxes Muslims pay to the poor) 32 . Barakah (Increasing or blessings
of wealth) 32
Mind 49 . Noor 49
Tongue 25 . Sermon 25
Desite 8 . Fear 8
Speaking publicly 18 . Publicising 18
Hardship 114 .... Patience 114
Muhammed 4 . Sharee'ah (Muhammed's teachings) 4
Man 24. Woman 24
And amazingly enough have a look how many times the following words appear:
Salah 5, Month 12, Day 365,
Sea 32, Land 13
Sea + land = 32+13= 45
Sea = 32/45*100=71.11111111%
Land = 13/45*100 = 28.88888889%
Sea + land =100.00%
Modern science has only recently proven that the water covers 71.111% of the earth, while the land covers 28.889%.
Is this a coincidence?
Question is that Who taught Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) all this?
Reply automatically comes in mind that ALMIGHTY ALLAH taught him this. As the Qur'an also tells us this.
To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.
I trust in you, my God!
Do not let me be disgraced,
or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
No one who trusts in you
will ever be disgraced,
but disgrace comes to those
who try to deceive others.
Show me the path where I should walk, O LORD;
point out the right road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
Remember, O LORD, your unfailing
love and compassion,
which you have shown from long ages past.
Forgive the rebellious sins of my youth;
look instead through the eyes
of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O LORD.
Psalm 25:1-7 NLT
Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.
Matthew 5:5 KJV
__________________
Good and upright is the LORD:
therefore will he teach sinners in the way.
The meek will he guide in judgment:
and the meek will he teach his way.
Psalm 25:9,10 KJV
__________________
The meek also shall increase their joy in the LORD,
and the poor among men shall rejoice
in the Holy One of Israel.
Isaiah 29:19 KJV
cheesyyyyyyyy mah sunshine
m000nie mah moonlite
sebia mah midday delite
luv u gurls
muuuah
mousey_in_love
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